Oh, wow. The Spice Girls. My friends and I used to act out this video, karate kicks and fake laser finger guns and all. I was usually Baby Spice because I had long blonde hair, my really wiry friend was Sporty Spice, and our other friend was, I think, Posh Spice. I wish I could say that I was five when this song came out, but I was well into my junior high days. That just shows you what kind of preteen I was. Yikes.

I kind of like the name Trixie Firecracker.

Hey, guess what the collective nickname for the Spice Girls will be in like 30 years — OLD SPICE! HA! GET IT?! I like to throw a little 90s humor in when I can.

Will this deja vu never end? Ugh, I ask myself that everyday. The curse of being a Pisces. Sigh.

So, people were always saying Sporty Spice had the best voice, but she always sounded to me like she was singing while gargling. Kind of like Barbra Streisand. Don’t get me wrong, I love Babs. But you have to admit that she sort of has a weird voice.

Oooh, Adidas sport pants! When they came out with the tear-off kind, I remember thinking what a horrible idea it would be to wear them to gym class. And lo and behold, soon afterward, some kid wore them in my gym class and he was depantsed in front of everyone.

Wait, why was Mel B scary? I don’t remember the meaning behind her Spice name.

Uh, why is that dude tied to the desert? Can you even TIE SOMEONE TO A DESERT? And that other dude is tied to the roof of their car? What?! Spice Girls, I need more narrative and less exaggerated dancing.

The phrase “throwing far too much emotions at me” makes this English major quite stabby.

Dorky confession time: I went to see Spice World in the theater the weekend it came out. I remember being totally psyched about it even though it really did suck.

So, who was your favorite Spice Girl? Even though I always had to play Baby Spice since I looked most like her, I would probably choose either Ginger or Scary. They always seemed like they were having the most fun.