When I was a kid, I was an avid fan of Nick At Nite. Summer nights, I would baby-sit my myriad cousins and siblings and after putting them to bed, I’d settle into my aunt’s blue recliner with a tall glass of Pepsi, a Swiss Cake Roll twin pack, and endless episodes of “Newhart,” “Happy Days,” “Taxi,” and “Mary Tyler Moore.” So I was pretty much psyched out of my mind when I heard this really funny song and saw that the video was filmed on the Happy Days set. It was just so hilarious and perfect to me.

The guy with the dark, full of head of hair makes me think of Peter Gallagher. Most people know him from his stint on The O.C. I will always think of him as the guy Sandra Bullock said she was engaged to when she wasn’t and then she fell in love with Bill Pullman. While You Were Sleeping, people! That was always a fave of mine on those Friday nights at Iggle Video when everything else had been rented. For me, it always came down to WYWS, Wayne’s World, or Fried Green Tomatoes. I usually picked one of the first two to rent for the zillionth time.

Yowza, Fonzie. Nice dancing! Reminds me of that scene in Fiddler on the Roof when those dudes dance with the bottles on their heads.

Who’s the famous guy from Weezer? (checks Wikipedia) Ah, yes, Rivers Cuomo. Total 90s alternative heartthrob.

So, why did those homies have to front? What did they ever do to those guys that made them so vi-o-lunt?

This is a song I associate more with the radio than MTV, but I’ll do my best.

Wow, kind of a melancholy video. Appropriate, I guess, but, jeez. The guy with the mohawk is so morose he can’t even pick himself up off the floor. These people all need some Prozac. (Remember when people would be like, “God, did you take your Prozac today?” when you said something even marginally mean? No? Just me and my hip posse? ‘Kay.)

Hey, this Goo Goo Doll guy is kinda hot in the black and white shots. Why was I not aware of this? Mmm, long 90s guy hair. Although I’m thinking that the hotness factor decreases a bit based on the fact that he is a Goo Goo Doll. Goo Goo? Really? Also, cleft chins just make me think of Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, so really, I guess it could never work out. Gaston was a huge dick.

Never knew until this second that he says “Reruns all become our history.” How … deep.

So, this is a pretty depressing song, right? Slow tempo, acoustic guitar, longing for a lost love, “saw the dreams you never thought you lose tossed along the way,” etc. However, the thing I remember most about this song is that one day my mom and I were driving in the car and this song came on and she said “You know, this song just makes me so happy.” I was like, “Really? It’s kind of depressing.” She shrugged and said, “I know. But it just makes me feel really good and happy when it comes on.” So now, whenever I hear this song, or any other by the Goo Goo Dolls (which is kind of a lot, as I’m usually listening to Bob FM or 98.9 or 92.9), I think of my mom and hope she’s happy.

Okay, enough sappiness. Wanna know something funny? My husb often cannot tell the difference between the Goo Goo Dolls and the Gin Blossoms. I thought this was hilarious - DUH! The Goo Goo Dolls’ songs are usually slower and acoustic, and the Gin Blossoms are forever associated with Liv Tyler and Empire Records! - but then I realized that they do kind of sound alike. So now every time this song or “Allison Road” or “Iris” or “Til I Hear it From You” comes on, I’m like, “QUICK! Goo Goo Dolls or Gin Blossoms?!” He’s getting much better. I think he’s right like 75% of the time now. I have taught him well.

Oh, wow. The Spice Girls. My friends and I used to act out this video, karate kicks and fake laser finger guns and all. I was usually Baby Spice because I had long blonde hair, my really wiry friend was Sporty Spice, and our other friend was, I think, Posh Spice. I wish I could say that I was five when this song came out, but I was well into my junior high days. That just shows you what kind of preteen I was. Yikes.

I kind of like the name Trixie Firecracker.

Hey, guess what the collective nickname for the Spice Girls will be in like 30 years — OLD SPICE! HA! GET IT?! I like to throw a little 90s humor in when I can.

Will this deja vu never end? Ugh, I ask myself that everyday. The curse of being a Pisces. Sigh.

So, people were always saying Sporty Spice had the best voice, but she always sounded to me like she was singing while gargling. Kind of like Barbra Streisand. Don’t get me wrong, I love Babs. But you have to admit that she sort of has a weird voice.

Oooh, Adidas sport pants! When they came out with the tear-off kind, I remember thinking what a horrible idea it would be to wear them to gym class. And lo and behold, soon afterward, some kid wore them in my gym class and he was depantsed in front of everyone.

Wait, why was Mel B scary? I don’t remember the meaning behind her Spice name.

Uh, why is that dude tied to the desert? Can you even TIE SOMEONE TO A DESERT? And that other dude is tied to the roof of their car? What?! Spice Girls, I need more narrative and less exaggerated dancing.

The phrase “throwing far too much emotions at me” makes this English major quite stabby.

Dorky confession time: I went to see Spice World in the theater the weekend it came out. I remember being totally psyched about it even though it really did suck.

So, who was your favorite Spice Girl? Even though I always had to play Baby Spice since I looked most like her, I would probably choose either Ginger or Scary. They always seemed like they were having the most fun.

Anyway, this video features Juliette Lewis as a mental patient. Pretty big stretch for her, I know. Ha! I’m totally joshing! Well, only like 80% joshing. I love Juliette Lewis.

Loving Mel’s denim button-up shirt with the sleeves cut off. Larry the Cable Guy totally stole his style from the fabulous Ms. E. And, yes, I’m duly ashamed that I know the kind of shirt that Larry the Cable Guy wears.

One thing I always loved about this song was the sheer intensity that Melissa sings with. I’ve sort of rediscoverd Melissa Etheridge in the past year or so, after my boyfriend and I watched “An Inconvenient Truth” at a free screening at the National Archives in DC and walked back to the Metro scream-singing this song and “I Want to Come Over” and “I’m the Only One.” I’m pretty sure that’s the lesson we were supposed to take from that movie - that Melissa Etheridge rocks pretty hard. Right?

Loving Juliette dancing with herself at the end of the vid. I dance with myself all the time. I also walk down the street, composing conversations in my brain entirely in French. Occasionally I’ll slip and say something out loud and people who are nearby give me somewhat concerned looks. Maybe I belong in the hospital, not Juliette… oh well. If it means I can color all over my room and jam to Melissa Etheridge all day, I’m totally in.

Hey, isn’t it ironic how all the lines in this song aren’t really ironies, they’re just bummers? Ha ha! A little 90s humor for yinz…

Another Pop-Up video fav! From what I can recall from those informative little bubbles, the four Alanises are supposed to represent different parts of her personality – red sweater Alanis is the crazy one, yellow sweater Alanis is the childlike one, green sweater Alanis is the weird one (? am I remembering this correctly?), and driver Alanis is the supposedly shy, subdued one.

Let’s pause to simply appreciate Alanis Morissette for a second, can we? I mean, how awesome was she? I love that her hair was always kind of a mess and she looked like she didn’t wear much make-up and she just didn’t care. I love that her most popular song was a big, powerful “fuck you” to a man who had crossed her. (Cousin Joey from Full House! Maybe.) I love that she gave smart interviews and didn’t hide her intelligence and generally just rocked. Alanis, I love you.

This video was pretty cool, in a very low-key way. I like the idea of the different Alanises, I like the total beater car, and I like that fact that it looks like it takes place on some Canadian highway. Overall, thumbs up.

So … if you were cruising down the highway and three of your clones appeared in the car, what song would you sing? What parts of your personality would they represent?

This video was super innovative when it came out, yo. Hell, it might still be considered innovative since MTV never shows any damn videos anymore and therefore there are no new videos to surpass its awesomeness. (Yes, I sound like an old fart. Oh well!) Like, dude, the floor’s moving. And then suddenly the furniture starts to bleed. And birds are flying around and cockroaches are rustling about. Craazay!

And check out Jamiroquai’s moves! I remember wishing that I could dance like he does … and then I remembered I’m a half-Irish, half-Polish girl from western Pennsylvania who will never look like that on a dance floor.

How much do I love the Dr. Seuss top hat thing that he’s wearing in this vid? For a fleeting moment in time, that hat was funky and cool and you wished you could pull it off but you knew you couldn’t. Then, afterwards, that godforsaken hat was ubiquitous. You could not escape it, especially not if you decided to go to the amusement park or county fair or some other place where teenagers would be congregating. And trust me, none of them could pull it off either. But that doesn’t mean they didn’t try.

I’m also loving that he’s wearing what appears to be an Old Navy performance fleece. (Admit it, you can still sing the jingles from those really hideously tacky commercials they showed in the 90s.)

What do you think the crow (raven? I’m not so up-to-speed on my birds) and the cockroach symbolize? If they symbolize anything at all, of course.

Lisa Loeb was so ahead of her time. The hip, thick-framed glasses, the indie artist who somehow managed to both avoid the music business and record a #1 single… she was pretty much the person that all the quiet, dorky bookworm girls wanted to secretly be. (Including me.) In other ways, though, she is so solidly 90s. That baby-doll dress? So Alicia-Silverstone-meets-Sad-Girl.

What I remember most about this video is that it was pretty much on endless loop on “Pop-Up Video.” God, remember “Pop-Up Video?” It was like the perfect marriage of two of my main interests during the Clinton administration: music vids and mindless trivia. That’s how I know that the cat hanging out in the apartment belongs to the video’s director and, more importantly, it’s how I know that Lisa Loeb HAS to wear those glasses because she’s allergic to contact lenses. I still don’t really understand how a person can be allergic to contact lenses, but whatevs. She rocks those glasses so hard.

I’m pretty sure that this video is squarely to blame for my obsession with someday living in a bright, spacious, airy post-industrial loft apartment. That, or this Jonathan Taylor Thomas movie.

So now I’m thinking a little bit more about the cat and … is Lisa Loeb supposed to be the stereotypical cat lady who’s lonely in her stark, bare apartment and is going to die alone someday? Because, excuse me, Lisa is way too cool for that. Come to think of it, most Lisas are too cool for that, at least the ones on the outskirts of fame: Lisa Bonet, Lisa Ling. (Full disclosure: I have followed Lisa Ling her entire career. Seriously, since day one. She was on Channel One news, which my high school showed after morning announcements, and I’ve always kept abreast of what she was doing ever since. Now, please refer back to paragraph one, wherein I say that I’m a quiet, dorky girl and nod your head in full agreement.)

Question: what do you think it means to talk “so” all the time? So?

Remember when Gwen Stefani was so effing cool? Like, here was this awesome chick, rocking out with the bindi, platinum blonde hair, heading one of the hippest ska bands in the 90s. How badass is that? Now I guess she’s kind of lame, and I really hate those HP commericals where she’s like “It is SO HARD being creative.” I’m not disputing that it is, in fact I totally agree, but for the love of God, put some feeling into your words, Gwen. You sound like an automaton.

Anyway, of course this song is raging against the injustices of growing up female in this culture and it’s so mocking and subversive. I freaking love it. The make-up montage while the boys are jamming out is especially awesome. Really reinforces the whole “girls are pretty ornaments while boys take action” thing, only Gwen’s rocking her heart out at the same time as being one of the dolls.

I’m loving the knowing smile at 2:13, and then – super dance party! (Including a pregnant lady wearing a belly baring shirt who I never noticed before. So awesome.) And some push-ups! Like her onstage push-up in the “Don’t Speak” video, drenched in sweat and looking out at the crowd like “What now?!” I love the strong woman imagery, but also I just love the song. Ska was so fun to listen to, the perfect music for hopping around your grade school gymnasium with your classmates, banging into each other and laughing your asses off. God, how much do I miss that… Is that appropriate to do with your twentysomething friends? And if so, anyone want to rent out a school gym and jump around to the Mighty Mighty Bosstones and No Doubt and whoever else we can think of?

Here’s the thing about me: I haven’t really listened to the radio since, oh, about 2002. I just don’t find current pop music to be fun to listen to (with a few notable exceptions, including Kelly Clarkson and Alicia Keys). A lot of it also has to do with not owning a car for six years, so I just never had the opportunity to listen to the radio and let’s be real – the car is the ideal place for radio-listening, especially during summer. You can roll all the windows down, put your shades on, and cruise through the streets listening to all those singles that have dropped, begging for your attention.

I have a car now, and a broken CD player, so I’ll probably be listening to the radio a bit more now. But I always find myself gravitating towards the stations that have music I already know and like. My boyf will tell you that it’s hard for me to be listening to a song and not singing along to it at the same time. He’s absolutely right.

Also – a word about music videos. I remember when MTV would actually play music videos, before TRL, before all those goddamn shows they have on now. Vids from the 90s were definitely a core element of my upbringing. They were slick and told stories and showed shirtless guys in the rain. Really, what’s not to love?

So, in honor of my love of 90s songs and the videos that went along with them, I am introducing a new feature: 90s Video of the Week. Inaugural honors go to “Waterfalls” by TLC, because, COME ON. Drug violence, a grieving mother, HIV/AIDS, midriff-baring, bopping in the ocean, and the ability to morph like Alex Mack? This could possibly be the pinnacle of 90s videos. Enjoy.