christina speaks

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Yes, I’d Like Some Cheese with this Whine

I’m up for a new phone through my Verizon new every two deal and honestly I’m underwhelmed. Currently I have your slightly-more-than-basic phone – it makes calls, has a camera and videorecorder, it’s always worked well for me. I don’t need VCast (I don’t even know what that means) and I’m not going to pay […]

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Wool Coats in May

I’m beginning to wonder if dementors are breeding in Pittsburgh. I can hardly complain, since I moved back here at the end of February, when the ground begins to thaw and the slush somewhat subsides, from the mild winters of Washington, DC. (Seriously, if the air guessers even predict three inches of snow in the […]

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Is it just me

Or could

(Jordan Staal)
and

Martha Plimpton (you know, that one girl from The Goonies)
TOTALLY be brother and sister?

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Dear Celery,

Why are you so disgusting? Seriously. Also – why do you exist? You taste so bad, and your texture is so stringy, and you are a droopy shade of green. No one likes you. People pretend to like you but really they just eat you after they’ve drenched you in ranch dressing or blue cheese […]

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Drained

Things I did today:

had a very insane and hectic day at the office
went to happy hour with a dear old friend from high school
came home and wrote a chapter of my book

Therefore, I am tired.
But here’s a picture of one of my cats!

He’s cute, look at him! Don’t mind me, curled up in the corner […]

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Already?

I just had a “need help conceiving?” ad in my sidebar on Facebook. Guess they think this is gonna be a white wedding.
I believe Amy called it, just a few weeks ago. Although she thought (and I did too) that the pregnancy/kids stuff would start after my status changed to “married.”

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Note to CareerBuilder.com

You should really do a better job of vetting the companies who contact job applicants. Because when I receive an email laden with spelling and grammatical errors and telling me what my “job scheme” will comprise, I’m running the other way as fast as I can.

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That what I says

A woman who could be Lily Tomlin’s twin, if Lily were shorter and more shriveled, sits at the front of the bus. She’s wearing a tan suede jacket with fur lined trim and two knotted-rope ankle bracelets under white tights. Glancing across the aisle, she recognizes a friend. The friend is stout, her face buried […]

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Rabbit Rabbit Day

When I was a kid, I used to go to a neighbor’s house all the time. She was an only child, and I lived with eleven other people, so I loved escaping the noise and bustle and general insanity that was par for the course at my house. We’d play Barbies or two-person Clue (I […]

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You know you’re in Los Angeles when

All the billboards along the freeway are for Rodeo Drive Plastic Surgery (”We treat everyone like a celebrity.”), breast augmentation (only $2999!), AdultCon (the world’s largest Adult Convention), or Disneyland.