You should really do a better job of vetting the companies who contact job applicants. Because when I receive an email laden with spelling and grammatical errors and telling me what my “job scheme” will comprise, I’m running the other way as fast as I can.
:: May.02.2008 :: Daily, NaBloPoMo, Random :: 2 Comments »
A woman who could be Lily Tomlin’s twin, if Lily were shorter and more shriveled, sits at the front of the bus. She’s wearing a tan suede jacket with fur lined trim and two knotted-rope ankle bracelets under white tights. Glancing across the aisle, she recognizes a friend. The friend is stout, her face buried in a book.
“Hey, Abby!” she says. Abby looks up. “What’s the past tense of ‘sneak?’”
Abby thinks for a minute, adjusts the sleeve of her hot pink jacket. “Snuck,” she declares.
A triumphant grin spreads across Lily’s face. “Nuh-uh!” she crows. “It’s ‘sneaked!’”
“No one ever says ‘sneaked,’” Abby grumbles, turning back to her book.
“I sneak, I sneaked, I have sneaked,” Lily intones. Abby looks up, a thoughtful expression on her face.
“You know, when I was growing up, I was always taught to use the word ‘a’ before a word that started with a consonant, and the word ‘an’ before a word that began with a vowel,” she says. “Now, people are using them any which way they want.”
“Someone in my department asked me to relate information to another person today,” Lily replies, her face very serious. “And I says, ‘You mean relay information? You can’t relate information to a person. You have to relay it, I says.’”
:: May.01.2008 :: Daily, Pittsburgh, Random :: 2 Comments »
When I was a kid, I used to go to a neighbor’s house all the time. She was an only child, and I lived with eleven other people, so I loved escaping the noise and bustle and general insanity that was par for the course at my house. We’d play Barbies or two-person Clue (I know, sounds ridiculous, but somehow we managed to do it) or just watch TV. We watched a lot of the USA Network for some reason – I think they had really cheesy kids game shows on in the afternoons or something – but they also showed these short one minute segments called “In A Minute”:
(To this day, when I hear anyone say, “In a minute,” that helium-laced loop at the beginning of the clip plays in my mind.)
Anyway, one time they had a segment on Rabbit Rabbit Day. This is the first day of every month, and supposedly if you say the words “Rabbit rabbit” as soon as you wake up, before anything else, you’ll have good luck the rest of the month.
The first time I ever told my boyfriend about Rabbit Rabbit Day, he basically told me that I was crazy and superstitious. I considered this. Crazy? No, not anymore than the next person. Superstitious? Yes. If I’m watching a Steelers game with you, and you remark at how incredibly well the team is playing, I will kill you with my eyes. Seriously, I’ll cut you. Because you just don’t do things like that. Not even if the score is 532-0 and there’s ten seconds left to play and we have possession of the ball and God has come down from the heavens and decreed that the Steelers will emerge victorious from the game. To say the Steelers are playing well is jinxing it, and they’ll immediately fumble the ball and the other team will score 533 points in those ten seconds and God will just go back to that big stadium in the sky and then probably strike you with a lightning bolt because you jinxed the Steelers. And everyone knows God’s a Steelers fan.
Getting back to the point, since tonight is the last night of the month, that makes tomorrow Rabbit Rabbit Day. And I did some poking around on the Internets (read: Googled “rabbit rabbit day”) and found out that it’s actually a thing. With a history. At least 600 years of history, actually, and maybe even 800.
Is it still superstitious? Of course. Will I forget to say it in the morning? It’s quite possible. I’d say there’s a fifty percent chance. But do I feel just a bit validated and maybe even a tad smug that Wikipedia has given me a factual basis for these two little words I’ve known of since I was a kid? You bet your ass I do.
:: Apr.30.2008 :: Daily, Random :: 3 Comments »
All the billboards along the freeway are for Rodeo Drive Plastic Surgery (”We treat everyone like a celebrity.”), breast augmentation (only $2999!), AdultCon (the world’s largest Adult Convention), or Disneyland.
:: Apr.26.2008 :: Insanity, Random, Travel :: No Comments »
Ever since I changed my relationship status to “engaged” on Facebook, a mere 24 hours ago, every ad in my sidebar has been for something relating to weddings - invitations, rings, gowns.
What do you think they’ll try to push on me after my status changes to “married?”
:: Apr.23.2008 :: Daily, Random :: 2 Comments »
Seriously, this week has been a freaking killer. I am so glad it’s over. This weekend, I plan on working on my book A LOT, cleaning the apartment, and generally hanging out with friends and enjoying not being overdrawn on my bank account anymore.
I leave you with this picture of a sunstar flower I bought at Trader Joe’s a couple weeks ago. It’s bloomed magnificently.
See you Monday.
:: Apr.11.2008 :: Daily, Photo, Random :: 1 Comment »
During an odd quiet spell in the office today, I got a phone call from my former landlord’s bank. Turns out the whole “bounced check” thing was a bank error, not the fault of a deadbeat realty company, and they’re sending me a cashier’s check today for the original amount.
(When I was on the phone with the bank rep, and she said it was a bank error, all I could think of was that Community Chest card in Monopoly – you know, “Bank error in your favor, collect $200” – and how, once again, that godforsaken game had set me up for a life of broken promises.)
So that made me happy, and it’s quite possible that all my overdraft fees are going to be refunded, and I didn’t come home to a lake in my kitchen, and no one got laid off at work. Altogether, a much better day than yesterday. Plus, awesome weather! Although I did feel like a giant idiot because I wore my galoshes today (what?! the airguessers said there was a 70% chance of rain and thunderstorms!) and had to march around downtown with these things on my feet:
Hawt.
:: Apr.09.2008 :: Daily, Photo, Random :: No Comments »
So, Jen-nay tagged me for my very first meme (cue the awwwws, I’m sure). The details:
Legend has it that Hemingway was once challenged to write a story in only six words. His response? “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” Last year, SMITH Magazine re-ignited the recountre by asking readers for their own six-word memoirs. They sent in short life stories in droves, from the bittersweet (”Cursed with cancer, blessed with friends”) and poignant (”I still make coffee for two”) to the inspirational (”Business school? Bah! Pop music? Hurrah”) and hilarious (”I like big butts, can’t lie”).
Mine:
Hardest-working slacker in … sigh, whatever.
(I realize that “hardest-working,” with its hyphenation, should really be counted as one word, but it seemed unseemly to claim one-word status for it when it takes up so much room and the project was to be as succinct as possible.)
Being so new to the blogosphere that I don’t have any interweb friends who haven’t done this meme already, I’ll pass on the tagging more people, if you don’t mind. (Please don’t mind.)
:: Apr.07.2008 :: Daily, Meme, Random :: 2 Comments »
“You know nothing of drawing. Don’t pretend to be in raptures about mine. Keep your raptures for Harriet’s face.”
-Emma, Jane Austen
:: Apr.03.2008 :: Books, Daily, Random :: 3 Comments »
Because it does evil things to me, like forcing an interminable loop of the lines “Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got, I’m still, I’m still Jenny from the block!” for hours upon hours. Le sigh.
:: Apr.02.2008 :: Daily, Random :: 1 Comment »
